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The Weak Spot
It was Chinese New Year and I was at the family reunion dinner with my mother’s side of the family. Having just turned sixteen, I was invited to sit at the adults’ table in the dining room to eat with them. It was the worst. My mother’s side of the family consisted of my maternal grandparents and their six daughters, including my mother, Sue, who was the third eldest. Of course, my Aunts brought over their husbands, my Uncles, which was quite the colorful cast of characters, all of whom mixed only too well with alcohol.
“Johnny ah!” My red-faced Uncle George bellowed. It was unnecessary because I was seated right next to him. He gave me a heavy handed slap on the back.
“George!” Aunt Sandra, my mother’s elder sister scolded.
“Shh, shh, shh…” Uncle George hushed his wife. “I am talking to ah boy here.”
He then turned to me and broke out a lecherous grin. “Got girlfriend already ma?” He asked.
Ugh. Kill me.
“Y-y-yeah?” I answered.
That earned me another brutal thump to my back.
“Of course got la, look at you, so leng chai. I bet all the girls in school chasing you every day right?”
“Uh, not really. Haha.”
“Soooo. You do it liao ma?” He asked, forming a circle with his fingers and pushing his other finger through it.
“George!” Aunt Sandra hissed and pinched him hard.
“Owowow. Just asking what. Come on Sandra, I am about to impart some wisdom here.”
Around the table, my Uncles grinned stupidly, including my father. My Aunts all looked incredibly embarrassed, including my mother.
“I am going to tell you a secret technique to make your girlfriend very happy,” Uncle George whispered not so quietly. He then proceeded to describe some traditional notion of the G-spot. He never managed to finish though. Aunt Sandra ended up dragging him away by the ear.
Like I said, it was the worst.
After the meal, I quickly excused myself. As I passed by the head of the table, my wheelchair bound grandfather suddenly seized my……
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